i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize