So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
