just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
