so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
