i think my tv is drunk
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
