he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
