if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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