She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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