I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
