Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
