She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
