The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize