We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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