seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
