but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
