Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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