every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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