Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize