Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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