come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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