We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
