I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
