from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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