uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
