You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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