i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
