fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
