Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
