i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
