i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
