you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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