we're blogging at a bar
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
