So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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