I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Please, let me fuck your mom
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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