is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Please, let me fuck your mom
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
