We're facebook friends in real life
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
