Dude my mom stole all your condoms
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
