Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
