bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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