i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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