i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
