There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Randomize
