Jerry, you need to find god
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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