They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
