So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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