I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
