Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
