Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
