the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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