It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
