I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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