If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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