Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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