Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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