1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
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