Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize