lets start a swedish sibling band together
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
