so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
